Religious Jokes

Doesn't it Say in the Bible that a Merry Heart is Just Like Medicine?

     Yep. Proverbs 15:13 says, "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance; but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." I hope you enjoy this gaggle of religious hilarity that I have put together for this blog.

     George Carlin, a truly gifted comedian. I like what he says about God always needing money because God doesn't know how to handle money. Hah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPAtLQV2ik

     The first guy's facial expressions makes everything he says even funnier! The comments about religion creating war and religion being about people talking about their imaginary friend 'at length' are great. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJqw-idOwUc

     I love what this guy says about evolution from a monkey making a far more compelling story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-LMpeEmaTk

     OUT-freakin'-STANDING!! Atheism has the power to stop wars. Prayer is trying to help by doing nothing. Atheism is to religion what hair color is to bald. ALL excellent statements.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIYf14Jcq-o

     Excellent!! Listen to what he says about the argument between God and the Devil and the Devil being the bigger man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZJ-_OTvsqo

     Hah! A cosmic Jewish zombie!! Haahhhaha!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBzCwc2K9oA

     This is so blessedly hilarious I had to watch it several times! Look at the expressions of people as they see Jesus walking on the water to get the ball! The bits with the dead mouse come back to life is priceless as well. By far my favorite is when Jesus goes fishing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVugsBipaMA

     This is simply outstanding, Penn. Please, continue to do bits like this on religion and the absurdity of religion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qJDd-2tM-A

     I like what Eddie says about the Bible being about Jesus, but Jesus didn't write any of it. Then the apostles all make it look like they were each the closest to Jesus. Listen to what he asks in regards to Cain and Abel getting married...where did the 'mystery bitches' come from. Sweet!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2iQEn7Xyoo

     Excellent! What constitutes an act of God? HERE is the answer and you'll love it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJW4rnN6q84

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/theopoly

http://www.zazzle.com/theopoly_game_of_the_divine_poster-228221851132138911

https://sites.google.com/site/wiseonecartooncreations/

http://www.zazzle.com/smartytwoshoes/?qs=&dp=0&pg=4#homeProducts

https://sites.google.com/site/murphyslifeelements/home

https://sites.google.com/site/murphyslifeelements/add-a-gallery

http://www.zazzle.com/biblical_myth_periodic_table_of_elements_posters-228084324809883766

Jesus is One Funny Guy!

Now You Know for Sure God Does Have a Sense of Humor

I like the bit in this clip when Pastor Joel Osteen asks whether Jesus was black of white when He said, "Buenos dias." Good stuff!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jze_ksR3cQo

It's Richard Pryor! You gotta love this guy. No one could pull this off like this guy does.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-OZPHJPeH4

This was truly a creative remake of the hit song. I like the part where they ask, "Hey, wasn't that Tim Tebow?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30vyrdhiwwQ

Delicious fun!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpeGoWMOCNk&list=PLw-HVt50EUz4ru6Zbl0AlZONPGbC_1HFl

Haahaaa!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw&list=PLw-HVt50EUz4ru6Zbl0AlZONPGbC_1HFl

Isn't this the truth of how many steeped in religion approach science?  You would think that the power of the most supreme being ever could overcome such. Whatever. I suppose the Almighty must have limits as well, even if those limits do happen to be actual science. He didn't think this stuff through real well when He invented it all, did He?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRLR9jhP_DM&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

Outstanding!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urlTBBKTO68&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

His invisibleness? Hah!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAQTohoF718&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

You know, the pretty little myths of the Bible simply make no sense whatsoever. This little cartoon is an excellent example of why a story such as the Flood of Noah is pointless and stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I225Vcs3X0g&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

This is a mighty fine example of one of the worst arguments the religiously deluded repeatedly attempt to try to use in an effort to make sense of their nonsense mutterings and scriptures.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVbnciQYMiM&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

This is one of the most bad ass, hilarious stories EVER!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyLQIKl97Es&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

That's right, answer these questions with real answers and none of that pretend crap. And no circular reasoning either. On, and none of that because the Bible says so bullshit. Give a real answer that offers true validation of whatever screwy story it is that you are trying to prove.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDHJ4ztnldQ&list=PL198015ACAB9E09E1

HaahHHaaa!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRGnPIlclps

Oh dear LORD!! HAAh!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGukKa1vEzA

That is absolutely correct, folks. Noah and his pretty little ark never freaking existed except in the delusional mind of the individual who made up such a retarded story in order to explain their version of God. I also thought it funny that the sons of God found the human females so becoming. Did God neglect to make adequate mates for them and maybe that is why they thought the human ladies so hot?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk1owD9y1hc

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/

http://realbookofrevelation.blogspot.com/

http://noahsarkrevealed.blogspot.com/

http://justlivingbyfaith.blogspot.com/

http://cantstandreligion.blogspot.com/

Author Ester Lighthorse Speaks on Religion and God

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/theopoly

 Ester Lighthorse created controversy with her crass, off-the-wall, provoking re-write of the New Testament called 'The Tenement Gospel'. All of the words of wisdom and salvation through Jesus are accurately interpreted as they were originally intended to be understood. The entire first book of 'The Tenement Gospel' ,called M'Tew, is available for review at the following link: https://sites.google.com/sitte/esterlighthorse/

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/example-content-page

'The Tenement Gospel' is a total reconstruction of the Holy Bible's twenty-seven books of the New Testament and is rife with foul language, drug use, absurd and crazy situations, and several absolutely whacked out versions of Jesus, the twelve disciples, and his messages.

On her website Ester Lighthorse discusses many things pertaining to the abuse of religion and faith and the absurdity of institutionalized religion.

A majority of what Ester Lighthorse writes is considered straight-up blasphemy by most, if not nearly all Christians.

The tone of Ester's books and the content of her website point to a severe dislike of religion, Christianity in particular, and have been called "slanderous of God" and of the Holy Bible and promoting of atheism.

The Tenement Gospel: http://www.amazon.com/The-Tenement-Gospel-ebook/dp/B004W0ITIY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1367204731&sr=1-1

Turkey Broth for the Spirit: for the Theologian's Spirit: http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Theologians-ebook/dp/B004LX0IOK/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1367204731&sr=1-2

Turkey Broth for the Spirit: Confessions of a Born Again Atheist: http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Confessions-ebook/dp/B008FWBYY6/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1367204731&sr=1-6

Turkey Broth for the Spirit: and God Said: http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Said-ebook/dp/B0090NKCJW/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1367204731&sr=1-7